Like his father Dave and his uncle Joe, Tim Long was well known for his sense of humor. This is evident in the piece he wrote below in 2000, while Vice-President of the Cumberland Soaring Group.
Since man’s earliest ventures into the unknown realm of the sky, he has been guided by one simple axiom. Takeoffs are optional, landings are mandatory. The first lesson in the seriousness of this basic law of airmanship is thought by most scholars to have been taught to the mythical character Icarus, who was unfortunate enough to have recorded the first off-field landing in history.
Since that time, airmen of all types have been subject to the consequences of ignoring this inescapable rule of flight. We, as the trustees of motorless flight, have come to know better than any other group of airmen the significance of this simple postulate. The struggle against it is the very essence of our endeavors. To fly cross-country in a sailplane is to spit in the eye of fortune and throw caution to the wind, literally. When we cast off the warm embrace of the house thermal and venture forth into the unknown, we are issuing a challenge to the very gods who mandated this rule.
Soaring lore is filled with accounts of the adventures of those who chose to test these gods. The outcomes of these challenges are the stuff of legend. The stories vary from flight terminations inside prison grounds to semi-controlled flight into lakes and rivers. All were mandatory, few were planned.
The site favored my most is the farm pasture near a road and a telephone line. However, even these sites sometimes offer more excitement than the intrepid airman bargained for. Tales emanating from this category range from mad bulls and shotguns to home cooked meals and impromptu hoedowns. Many a ground crew has arrived on site to find their pilot being treated like royalty and not at all eager to be rescued.
That, of course, is not always the case. Some of the pitfalls of the experience vary from forced manual labor such as milking cows, to monetary remuneration before the sailplane may be retrieved. The most feared of all, however, is the fending off of unwanted advances by the farmer’s eligible daughters.
Such a situation requires diplomatic resources normally expected of Henry Kissinger or Desmond Tutu. While the struggle may be tempered somewhat by the beauty or lack thereof of the pursuer, quick thinking and a clear vision of the ultimate goal (sailplane retrieval, of course) must be the order of the day. Casualties ranging from personal injury to actual MIAs are rumored to be common in these cases.
We, the members of the Cumberland Soaring Group, are honored to have among us an airman who in the Year of Our Lord 2000, ventured forth to do battle with the “Cross Country Fates” and was struck down by them in a farmer’s field south of Hyndman, Pennsylvania. and returned to us unharmed and with the glider still in one piece. It is only fitting that this act of bravery accomplished only through skill and pure animal cunning which resulted in such a rare display of superior airmanship shall not go unrewarded. It is therefore my distinct privilege to present our first annual “Farmer’s Daughter” award to Lt. Col. C.H. Armstrong, USAF Ret., better known to us all as simply “The Colonel.”
Tim Long, Vice-President CSG 2000
Wings Over Cumberland 